


Burn It Down

by GenKay



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Depression, Fix-It, Gen, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24585895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenKay/pseuds/GenKay
Summary: This wasn’t about anger or hatred or punishment. It was about saving them all. Breaking the loop. They burned down trees to contain wildfire, denying it the fuel it needs to spread. He needed to do the same – a ring of ashes around him to stop the destruction from spreading.Robby pov. Gen. Trigger warnings. Self-hatred. Depression.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 66





	1. Johnny

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing a lot of long fics. So I'm not trying my hand at short chapters instead.

Burn it down. Burn it all down. Burn the house. Burn the bridges. Burn the ships. Burn the fields and salt the earth. Leave no path back. That was the only way. Only way to keep you safe from them. And the only way to keep them safe from you.

“What happened?” Johnny asked as he sat across the bench. It was juvie, after all, not prison. They didn’t have to talk over the phone across a plate of glass.

“This?” Robby said, pointing to the bruise on his jaw. “Nothing. Just some guys trying to put me in my place. Guess I ended up putting them in theirs.”

That was the gist of it. He hadn’t hurt them – much. Nothing they couldn’t walk away from, that was. And they’d wanted to do worse. But no need to go into the gory details. Making Johnny feel sorry for him wouldn’t do any good here.

“You shouldn’t be getting into fights.” Johnny said – like he was in any position to judge.

“Or what? I’ll end up in jail?” Robby smirked back, pointedly looking around.

“Or you’ll never get out of here.” _Is he trying to be a dad? Now?_ “Look, you don’t have to be in here long. Just keep your head down and get through it.”

“Like you care.” Robby said, glaring at him.

_This always works. Throw his failures in his face. Rub them in. They always send him running. And then he stays gone for months before making another pathetic attempt. This time, make sure it’s forever._

“Robby, I - ” Johnny started. But Robby was in no mood for his lies.

“How’s the dojo?” He interrupted. “You get it back yet?”

Johnny shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

_Yeah, sure. Just mattered more than me._

“Thought you’d care more.” Robby smirked. “Since you screwed me over for it.”

He looked taken aback – hurt. “I never - ” He started. “When did I do that?”

“At the tournament.” Robby shrugged. “Getting a win for your students was more important right? More than being proud of me?”

_Low blow, Keene._

_Doesn’t matter. I can fight dirty too._

“That’s not how it was.” Johnny couldn’t look him in the eye. “I didn’t know how to react. I - ”

“And then there was the Valleyfest.” _Stay on attack. Don’t let him defend. That’s the Cobra Kai way, right dad?_ “When you messed up my performance.”

Johnny shook his head. “That wasn’t about you. LaRusso made the ad and - ”

“Yeah, I know. You were trying to get back at Miyagi-Do.” Johnny looked at him, giving a slight nod. _Lure them in with a false sense of security._ “I was just collateral damage, right? Publicly humiliating me – that was never the point. Just a bonus.”

Guilt and hurt was written all over his face. Johnny closed his eyes, unable to face Robby’s judgment. _That’s it. Good. We are getting there. How much more of it can you take? You’ve never lasted this long._

“I didn’t think about how it’d affect you.” Johnny said quietly.

“That’s the point.” _That’s it. Let him have it._ “If you actually cared, you would’ve thought about it. You wouldn’t have been able to help it.”

That should do it. _Got no answer for that, do you?_

Johnny just sat there, face like someone punched him in the gut. _Get out already. Why aren’t you leaving?_

“I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Especially when it comes to you.” Johnny said in a pleading voice. “But it’s not too late to fix things.”

_Not this again._ “Heard that before.” Robby scoffed. “Didn’t mean anything back then either. Why don’t you focus on what actually matters instead?”

Yes – what actually mattered. Not Robby, he never did. Not the dojo. Not his rivalry with Mr. LaRusso. The thing he really cared about… _him._

“How is Miguel?” Good. That was good. Casual, like he was just curious. Like he didn’t actually care whether the guy lived or died.

_Please don’t tell me he’s dead. Please tell me he’s alive. I won’t be able to live with myself if I killed someone. I can barely live with it now._

“Better.” Johnny replied. “I heard that he can lift himself into a wheelchair now. Doctors are optimistic. He might make a full recovery.”

_Thank God._ But even through the relief, he didn’t miss any details.

“Heard?” Robby raised his eyebrows. “You haven’t been to see him?”

“His mom won’t let me see him.” Johnny replied, looking down. “She blames me for what happened.”

_So that’s why he is here. That’s why he hasn’t left yet. After losing option A because of Carmen and options B to Y because of Kreese, he’s here for option Z because that’s all he has left._

_Not anymore._

“Just tell her you turned me in.” Robby said flippantly. “That should make her forgive you.”

Johnny flinched like he’d been slapped. _No – I didn’t mean it like that. But if it works…_

“I know you must hate me for that.” He said. “But you also know it was the right thing to do.”

_Don’t leave yourself open like that._

“Yeah, because that’s what you always cared about the most, right?” Robby looked at him disdain. “Doing the right thing? This wasn’t about Miguel at all.”

Johnny had no answer again.

“Just go back and get him fixed up, alright?” Robby said like he didn’t care. “Wouldn’t be much of a round three if he’s still in a wheelchair when I get out.”

Johnny looked horrified. “You don’t mean that.”

_Too far? Maybe. Gotta keep it believable._ “Relax. I wouldn’t beat up a cripple. That’s beneath even me.”

“Why do you hate him so much?” Johnny asked, bewildered. “Just because he fought dirty in the tournament? He made a mistake.”

_Are you really that dumb?_ Robby just gave him a blank stare.

“Or is it… because of me? Because I paid attention to him instead of you?”

_Well, you give him some time and he eventually gets there._

“I don’t hate him. Not anymore.” Robby shrugged. “You are right – I was jealous of him, back when I gave a shit about you. But I now I don’t, so I don’t give a shit about him either.”

“It’s not too late.” Johnny pleaded. “We can still fix things between us.”

_Dammit, I had it all wrong. He doesn’t actually care – he never did – but he’s coming from guilt. Throwing his failures in his face will only make him more determined. Time to change things up._

“Don’t. Alright? I’ve had enough. There are things that you just can’t fix.” _Like me._ “Look, all we do is hurt each-other. And other people get caught up in the crossfire. And I’m done hurting you and I’d done getting hurt. So just, focus on what you can fix and leave me alone.”

“Robby, please - ”

“Enough, Johnny.” Robby shook his head with finality. “I’ve had enough. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

_“Johnny”?_ That was smart. He’d always been “dad” before – a shitty dad, a loser dad, a deadbeat dad, but always “dad”. This should get the message through. The finality of it. The sound of a barely alive relationship being put out of its misery.

It did. Johnny nodded and walked away.

_That’s right. Run. Run like you always do. And this time, don’t come back._

_Please don’t leave me…_


	2. Sam

This wasn’t going to be easy. Not like Johnny. He’d had years of practice with him. Years of pent up rage and frustration. But this – this was going to be like walking on broken glass. He’d have to be careful. No let a single trace of guilt show.

“I really am sorry.” Sam said, sniffling. “It never should’ve happened.”

“You mean the fight or the cheating?” Robby deadpanned. “Or are you talking about us getting together?”

Sam squeezed her eyes tight, not letting the tears start again. _Don’t let this soften your resolve. It’ll only hurt for a moment, but she’d be better off for it._

“Well, kinda still comes back to you, doesn’t it?” Robby smiled. “I told you getting together was a bad idea.”

_Weak move, Keene. You were the one who said it was alright later. She’s gonna throw it right in your face._

_That works too. If we fight, burning this bridge would be easier. It’s guilt that’s tough to deal with._

“You are right.” Sam took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to mess up your life so bad. I should’ve just listened to you in the first place. I’m sorry.”

_Dammit. Guilt it is._

“Sam. It’s fine.” Robby smiled weakly. “We all made bad choices, okay?”

“Then why are you the only one paying the price?” Sam said, clearly still hurt. “We all made mistakes - even Miguel. He shouldn’t have attacked you. You were just trying to protect me. You shouldn’t have to pay this price for a mistake.”

_An opening?_ Robby put his hand over hers.

“It’s okay Sam. It’s fine, really.” He said comfortingly. “I didn’t make a mistake. I wanted to hurt him. I really did. I thought he took advantage of you when you were drunk and I wanted to make him pay for that. I don’t regret anything.”

It didn’t seem like Sam heard him fully.

“I shouldn’t have been drinking.” She said, shaking her head. “But Miguel didn’t take advantage of me. He wouldn’t do that.”

“I know that now. And it wasn’t your fault either. It really wasn’t.” Robby patted her hand. _Finish this._ “You can’t help being a slut.”

Her face went blank. She blinked. “What did you just call me?” She asked quietly.

“What would you call a girl who dates three guys in one year?” Robby smirked at her.

_A normal teenager?_ But Sam couldn’t think of it. She just sat there, shocked, her mouth open.

“And then there was the whole thing with Kyler at the movies, right?” Robby continued. _This will work. There is no coming back from this._

“I-I told you… I told you he lied and…”

  
“You also told me you were over Miguel. So…” Robby shrugged. _You are close. So close. School your face. Don’t give anything away._

“Why would you say that to me?” Sam still couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Look, not all guys are like Miguel, alright?” Robby said, faking sympathy. “He might keep running after you, wagging his tail, but I have some self-respect.”

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Any of it. You were the best friend I ever had. My only friend. After everything you did for me, I wouldn’t blame you for anything. Please, please just let this end here. Please don’t make me hurt you anymore._

“Y-you don’t mean that. Any of it.” Sam said, shaking her head and looking anywhere else but at him. “You are not that guy. You are angry with me but…”

_Why are you making me do this? And now I have to lean into it?_

“Well, you’d know guys, wouldn’t you?” Robby had his jaw set. “Okay, I’m a little pissed off. If all you wanted was to make Miguel jealous, you could’ve just let me in on it. I’m good with plans like that.”

“That’s not why I did it.” Sam said, hurt.

“Whatever.” Robby shrugged. “All I’m saying is that it doesn’t matter. I was your friend, alright? Even if all you wanted was some fun, I’d have been up for it. I still am.”

“What?”

“Just saying. Don’t think Miguel can do much for you right now. Maybe not ever.” Robby gave her an inviting smile. “So if you ever need to… scratch an itch, you can always come to me.”

Sam slapped him. He felt his cheek sting and his head swing to the side. Everyone stared at him as Sam stormed off.

_It’s okay. Don’t break down. You did it. You did right by her. She’s gonna hate you and she should. Atleast she won’t blame herself now. And she’ll find someone better for her than you. Maybe Miguel. But that doesn’t matter. You did the right thing and you should feel proud of that._


	3. Shannon

_Not her. Please, not her. She has always been there, even when she wasn’t. Even if she went away all the time, she always came back. Let me have this. Let me just keep this one thing. It’s not too much to ask for, is it?_

“Honey, it’ll be alright, really.” Shannon was smiling a little too much. Trying a little too hard to sound confident. “In fact, the timing works out perfectly, actually. Let me show you…”

Shannon took out her purse and dug around. She looked good, Robby had to admit. Better. She was dressed more modestly than usual and it gave her an air of maturity she’d never had. She took out a green embossed coin from her bag and handed it to Robby.

“What’s this?” He asked, turning it over.

“It’s my 3-month sobriety chip.” Shannon said, proudly. “See that? It says three months right there.”

_See? This is why you have to do it. The moment you are out of her life, she starts getting her shit together. Don’t be weak now. You’ve been doing so well so far._

“So the thing is, I’m supposed to be focusing on myself right now.” Shannon continued. “I can’t take care of anyone else before I can learn how to take care of myself. And there are steps to these things. But the good news is, when you are ready to get out of here, I’ll be ready to take care of you again. So – silver lining, right?” She finished, crossing her fingers and smiling.

_Please don’t make me…._

_You have to._

“Sure, silver lining to me being in juvie.” Robby said sullenly, still looking at the coin.

Shannon’s smile disappeared and a pitiful look took its place. She reached out and rubbing Robby’s arm in comfort.

“Honey, I’m really sorry this happened.” She sounded sympathetic. “And I’m really sorry I wasn’t here for you. But I’m here now.”

Robby smiled back at her. “It’s okay mom. It’s fine. This was always going to happen.”

“Sweetheart, no.” Shannon said comfortingly. “It was an accident and - ”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Robby corrected her. “I mean – deadbeat dad. Drunk mom. I never really had a chance, did I?”

She froze. Her hand still on Robby’s arm. She was looking at the table now.

“You are right to blame me. If I’d been around more…”

“Mom, I don’t blame you. Really, I don’t.” Robby reassured here. “People are who they are, okay? And you getting yourself back together now. And I’m happy for you. Really.”

_You couldn’t have gotten it together sooner?_

Shannon nodded, smiling weakly and looking more cheerful. Robby picked up the green coin again, looking at it more carefully.

“So, how does this work?” He asked.

“Well…” Shannon looked a little excited again. “You get a new coin for every month you are sober. And after a year, it becomes yearly. There is no stopping point here. No final prize that you win. You just have to keep at it.”

Robby nodded. “And what happens when you fall off the wagon?”

Shannon’s smile disappeared for a moment. “I - ” Then it was back again. “IF you fall off, you reset. Go back to day zero and start over. But it’s not going to happen, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

_No – it WILL happen. Sooner or later, it will happen. People don’t change that easy. But if I’m not around, maybe it’ll happen later rather than sooner. I can do atleast that much for my mom._

“So when you fall off – do they send guys after you to take your coin back?” Robby asked, curious.

“No, it doesn’t work like that.” Shannon didn’t notice the “when” this time. “It’s totally voluntary. It’s really all on you.”

“Wait – so, you can start drinking and just pretend to be sober and no one would know?” _Was it that easy?_ “I mean, you could be drunk now and just be pretending to go through it.”

“Robby…” Shannon shook her head. “I’m not drinking. And I won’t. I’m going to do this right. I promise. I’m doing this for you.”

_No, you should be doing it for yourself. I’m already a lost cause. But you are my mom after all and you’d never agree to that, would you?_

“Yeah – I’ve heard that before.” He smirked. “Like every time you disappeared for days with some rich asshole.”

Shannon closed her eyes. “This is different.”

“Sure.” Robby said. “If it lasts.”

“It will. You’ll see.” Shannon was nodding confidently. “It’ll just be like old times again.”

Robby laughed at that. “You mean with you stumbling home drunk with a new guy every night? Pass.”

“No – not tha – shit.” Shannon closed her eyes and took deep breaths. She seemed to be murmuring some kind of prayer.

_I hope she doesn’t get caught up in some religious nutjob group. That would… well, what do I know? Maybe they’d still be better for her than me._

“Okay. What I meant was, things would be better.” She was smiling confidently again. “I’m getting a handle on this now. I promise.”

_This isn’t working. Not like this. If you push her the wrong way, you’ll end up driving her back to the nearest bar. Don’t be the last thing you do to her be ruining all the work she has done._

“I just… don’t know how I’m supposed to trust that.” Robby said. “What if we give it more time? Like if you can stay sober for a year, then I can come stay with you again?”

Shannon was confused. “But… where will you stay until then?”

“I don’t know. I’ll figure something out. You said I could stay with dad, right?” _Yeah, like that is going to happen now._

Shannon was considering but still uncertain. “Robby, I’m not sure that’s a great idea. I _want_ you with me, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Robby replied. “And we can talk about it when you have that one year chip.” _And by that time, I’ll be long gone._

She was still hesitating, trying to find the words.

“Look, mom, I need to get my head on straight too. Figure some shit out.” Robby said. “And I think those AA guys are right. I don’t want to rush into this and screw things up for you. So just, focus on yourself for now, okay? Please. I’ll be fine.”

That did the trick. Shannon finally nodded. “Alright. One step at a time, right? Don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll do this. And… and if you change your mind at any time or need anything, I’m right here. Okay?”

Robby nodded. _I didn’t have to hurt her. I managed to push her away without hurting her. If only the others were so easy._


	4. Daniel

Why was he back? This one was supposed to be the easiest. Straightforward. Robby let him down. He let Miyagi-Do down. He dishonored Mr. Miyagi’s memory. There should’ve been no coming back from that. And yet, he kept coming back. No matter what Robby said, he was back the next week like he’d never said it.

“So, Sam’s still pissed at you.” Mr.LaRusso said, tracing lines on the bench. He always did that – updating Robby on what was happening in the outside world. “She won’t tell me what happened, but don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll get over it.”

_Do I tell him? Why not? It might do the trick._

“She’s pissed because I basically called her a slut.”

_“Literally”, not “basically”, you moron._

_Well, it looks like it worked anyway._

He saw Mr. LaRusso’s fist clench and a vein pop in his temple. _Here it comes._

“You need to be more careful about what you say to people, Robby.” He said in a tight voice. “I get that you are angry, but you can’t say that kind of thing.”

_What the hell is wrong with you? That’s your DAUGHTER I’m talking about? Why aren’t you leaping over the table and pounding me to the ground?_

“I’m sure that if you apologize to her - ”

“I’m not apologizing to anybody.” Robby snapped.

Mr. LaRusso sighed. “Look, she is sorry about that thing with Miguel. I know you blame her for what happened but that’s not fair.”

“I don’t blame her, okay?” Robby snapped. “But I’m still not apologizing.”

“We need to do something about that temper of yours.” Mr. LaRusso smiled sadly. “Have you been doing the exercises I taught you?”

This guy was unbelievable. Even after everything, he was still treating Robby as his student. And then the realization hit him.

_Shit. You moron. Dumbass. You forgot the basic rule. Get into their heads and figure out what makes them tick. And you had him pegged all wrong. That is why your usual tricks weren’t working._

He’d figured Mr. LaRusso would care the most about the Miyagi legacy. That failing it, insulting it, marring it would be enough to drive him away. But that had failed because what Mr. LaRusso cared about more was _being_ Mr. Miyagi.

_“No bad students – only bad teachers”_ – that’s what he’d told him, right? So the worse Robby acted, the more he figured that it was on him. And the harder he tried to fix him. To push him away, Robby would need to convince him that he was no longer his student. No – more than that, he’d need to convince him that he never really was.

“Are you still on about that shit?” Robby said scornfully. “C’mon, Mr. LaRusso, it’s just getting sad now.”

“That shit works.” He said, encouragingly. “You just need to keep at it.”

Robby shook his head. “You are just doing all the work for me here. And it’s getting too pathetic even for me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” _Good. This is getting somewhere._

“I’m talking about you letting me con you.” Robby explained. “It was fun while it lasted, but enough is enough now.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t con me.”

“I was doing it from the start – don’t you remember?” Robby said. “I lied to you about who I was. Tricked my way into your life.”

Mr. LaRusso shook his head, disbelieving. “That was different. You changed.”

“Yeah. The things I wanted did change.” Robby agreed. “I was just looking to get back at my dad at first. But then I saw a chance for something better. A better life.”

Mr. LaRusso looked nonplussed. _Am I getting through to him? Is he buying this? He should right? It is the truth, technically. And I don’t want to lie to him. Can he just spare me that much? Please?_

“That’s not a con, Robby.” He said, gently. “It’s good thing to want a better life. I want that for you too.”

_Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. No choice left now._

_You know how to do this. You know what face to use. And what not to show him._

“I meant a better life with your money.” Robby explained. “That’s why I tricked you into letting me move in with you.”

“You didn’t trick me. I offered.” He said confidently.

_Here goes nothing._

“You are a car salesman, Mr. LaRusso. You know how it works.” _C’mon. Let this be it._ “Rope them in. Make them think it was their idea. And then you’ve got them.”

_Almost had him._ There was a sudden surprise in those eyes. A flash of doubt. But it was gone as soon as it came. _Time for the final torch. If this doesn’t work…_

“Figured I could turn that into a cushy life.” Robby continued. “That’s why I started dating Sam.”

“What do you mean?” The doubt was back.

“Thought if I could knock her up, I’d be set for life. You’d be stuck with me then.” Robby smirked. “Hey, I was going to do right by her. Be a good husband. Father. Not like my dad. And I figured you wouldn’t mind having me around.”

_I got him. I got him. This has to be it._ Mr. LaRusso was breathing hard. The vein on his temple looked ready to burst. And his fists kept clenching and unclenching. But then.

“I don’t believe you.” He said through gritted teeth. “I don’t know why you are saying all this, but I know you’d have never done that.”

“Like you knew I would’ve never tried to kill someone.” Robby smiled. _Okay, one last card to play._ “You do believe me. You’ve always known. Or suspected, atleast. That’s why you freaked out when you found Sam at my dad’s.”

“No.” He shook his head again. “That was… that was because of Johnny. And because she’d been drinking.”

“And me.” Robby added. “Drunk or not, you knew she was with me. And you knew she wasn’t safe with me. That’s why you were freaking out long before you got to my dad’s.”

_He’s gonna hit me now. He has to. He believes it. I can see that._

“If all that – If all of that is true, then why are you telling me?” Mr. LaRusso’s eyes narrowed. “Why not just play along?”

“Because I know when to fold them.” Robby shrugged. “I couldn't lock Sam down and I won’t get that chance again. And I’d rather find some other schmuck than live off your scraps.”

He was breathing hard now. His mouth twisted like he was about to say something, but somehow he controlled himself.

“Okay.” Mr. LaRusso said finally. “Best of luck with your next schmuck.”

_There he goes. There goes the last person who could’ve believed in me. The one person who could’ve saved me. Fixed me._

_No – that’s what got you into this mess in the first place. You were beyond saving from the very beginning. This should’ve happened ages ago._


	5. Miguel

This one, he hadn’t been expecting at all. There were no bridges to burn here. Not even a plank. So what the hell was Miguel Diaz doing here to see him?

“Are you sure, honey?” Carmen asked, one last time and still determinedly not looking at Robby.

“Yes, mom. It’ll be fine.” Miguel replied. “I need to do this.”

In the end, Carmen just threw one glance at him before leaving them alone and it was one of part-anger and part-pity. All in all, Robby figured it could’ve been worse.

Miguel staggered to the bench and awkwardly sat down while moving his crutches out of the way while Robby resisted the urge to get up and help him. He wouldn’t show any sympathy. Or guilt. Or remorse. Nothing but casual indifference. He’d decided that when he had heard who had come to see him. He wasn’t sure what this was about, but he knew that any weakness here could undo everything he’d worked so hard to achieve.

Besides, Miguel probably wouldn’t want it anyway. He knew he wouldn’t if the roles were reversed. Miguel would want to think of him as the monster. As the bad guy who’d done something horrible to him. One who did not even deserve to earn forgiveness by feeling guilty or ashamed. Miguel would want to think that Robby deserved what he was going through and any show of remorse would compromise that. So that was the least Robby could do for the guy. He was good at that atleast.

What did a “sorry” ever accomplish anyway? That was just a way to make yourself feel better – not the ones you hurt.

“Diaz.” Robby said as Miguel sat down.

“Keene.” Miguel replied in kind. “Figured it was time we had a talk.”

“So I heard. Not sure what there is to talk about, though.”

Miguel looked kinda sad at that. “Isn’t that fucked up? We both hate each-other and we’ve never even talked properly. Shouldn’t we know each-other to hate each-other?”

Robby had thought about it. All those sleepless nights had given him a lot of time to think about how things had gotten to this point.

“I don’t think you need to talk to someone to know them.” Robby shrugged. “Is that why you are here? To know me so you can hate me properly?”

Miguel didn’t know how to answer that right away and he couldn’t hide his confusion. _He’s new at this. He’s trying to appear calm and confident, but he can’t hide his anger or fear._

“I don’t _want_ to hate you.” Miguel said at last and Robby didn’t miss the inflection.

“But you do anyway.” He smirked as Miguel gave a tight nod. “That’s fine. I hate you too.”

Miguel was at loss for words after that. Clearly, this wasn’t going like he wanted it to. So Robby decided to throw the guy a bone.

“Looks like you are getting better.” He said, pointing to the crutches.

“Like you care.” Came the reply.

“Never said I did.” Robby was just as quick.

Miguel took a deep breath. “I’m not, actually. My physical therapist calls it a plateau. He says that my fear of physical confrontation is keeping me from getting better. And that I have to confront it and get over it. That’s kind of why I’m here.”

_No, you fool! Don’t give your enemy more ammunition._ Robby jerked forward in his seat and Miguel shrank back, afraid.

“Yeah, doesn’t look like it’s working.” Robby chuckled.

As Miguel glared at him with a clenched jaw, something else occurred to Robby.

“Whose bright idea was it for you to come here anyway?” Miguel wouldn’t have decided this on his own. “Mr. LaRusso?” _He was always talking about facing his fears._ “Sam?” _But what would she hope to accomplish?_ “My dad?” _A flicker in his eyes. That’s it._ “My dad. What the hell was he thinking?”

“He doesn’t want us to be at each-other’s throats anymore.” Miguel told him. “And neither do I. This thing between us has messed up both our lives.”

That Robby could not deny. Nor could he turn it around in any way. Not yet.

“Okay.” He said, nodding. “So how do we bury the hatchet?”

“Guess we could start with an apology.” Miguel said, looking at him hopefully.

Robby smirked. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Miguel’s eyes widened at the audacity of that. But he calmed himself down again.

“Yeah, I guess I did start this shit.” He took a deep breath. “Robby, I’m sorry that I pushed you at the party. I’m sorry that I attacked your injury at the tournament. And I’m sorry that I attacked you at the school fight.” Then he looked at him pointedly. “Do you have to say something?”

_Was he always this gullible?_ “Nah. I’m good.”

Miguel closed his eyes in frustration. “Do you always have to be such an asshole?”

“Nope.” Robby smirked back. “I just am one.”

Miguel huffed angrily. “Don’t know what I was expecting here.” He said, starting to get up.

Robby was about to let him, when something else occurred to him. The thought that had been in the back of his head was taking form for some time. Maybe this was something he could make right.

“Miguel, wait.” He said.

Miguel’s physical therapist had said something about fear of physical confrontation – but getting over it wasn’t the answer. Even if this confrontation had yielded results, Miguel not being afraid of Robby wouldn’t have made him less afraid of getting into a fight. What he needed here was a bigger fear – one that would actually drive him forward. If he thought a confrontation was inevitable, then what he’d be more afraid of would be losing it.

And anger could be a great motivator too. All the talk about forgiveness doesn’t push you to be better. Robby knew that from personal experience. Anger might not push you in the right direction, but it did push you forward and even a wrong direction was better than being stuck.

_This is something I can do for him. In fact, this is something only I can do for him._

“Look, I am sorry. But not for the reason you think.” Robby said coolly. “I’m sorry that I lost control and messed up my own life. I had everything I wanted and because of you, I lost it all. You think I’m ever gonna forgive you for that?”

Miguel tried to hide it, but Robby could see it in his eyes. He looked scared – and a little angry.

“I showed you mercy.” He said, through gritted teeth.

“I won’t be making that mistake.” Robby smiled cruelly. “I’ll be getting out of here soon and when I do, you better watch your back.”

Miguel didn’t say anything else to him, but the last look he threw at him before leaving was pure hatred. _Wow, this has to be a record. I managed to destroy something that never existed in the first place._


	6. Robby

He’d had the same burger many times before, but today, he scarfed it felt like the best meal of his life. He gulped it down as quickly as possible. He practically inhaled the milkshake too. The fries were a little dry though, so he decided to save those for later.

“Go easy on that.” Mr. LaRusso said from where he was sitting opposite to him. “Plenty more where that came from.”

Robby nodded, slowing down and chewing his full mouth more slowly.

“Feel better?” Johnny asked from beside him.

He hadn’t been expecting either of them – let alone both. And certainly not together. The day of his release, he’d expected to be picked up by social services and taken to a group home somewhere. And he had a plan all figured out – stick around for a while if the place was nice, run away if it wasn’t. Either way, find a job, save up some cash, buy the first bus ticket and get the hell out of dodge, never to be seen again.

Ok, so not _all_ figured out, but this was good enough to begin with.

But then that had gone down the drain the moment he had seen both his dad and his teacher waiting for him beyond the security doors. _They can’t be this stupid, can they? They can’t possibly want to take me home?_ He had known that he couldn’t run from them then – between the two of them, they could’ve dragged him anywhere anyway. So it’d have to be later, in the dead of night. For now, he’d just have to go home with… _Wait – what home? Why are they **both** here? Which one I’m supposed to go with?_

“So the two of you are friends now?” He’d asked, from the backseat of the car and seen them exchange awkward glances.

“Well, I wouldn’t call us friends.” Johnny had said, looking back at the road.

“Nooooo, I would not.” Mr. LaRusso had agreed. “We just happen to agree on certain things and that kind of gives us some common ground.”

_Ofcourse, the moment I’m out of the picture, everything gets better between them. Guess I was the problem all along. Can they still not see it? Are they really stupid enough to take me home?_

Apparently they were smarter than that atleast. They’d taken him to a park by the lake instead, buying him burger and fries and milkshake and they’d patiently waited for him to finish. He hadn’t meant to eat so hungrily, so desperately, but after months of soggy juvie food, it’d tasted so good that he’d lost himself after the first bite.

_This was good,_ he thought to himself. _The last meal. The final goodbye. Ofcourse, I should’ve expected this. They’re both good people who don’t want to live with the guilt of abandoning me. So they are doing one last nice thing for me. Something they can comfort themselves with if they ever feel guilty. I can give them that much. In fact, I can even do a little more…_

“Thanks for that.” Robby said, still chewing and swallowing and wiping his fingers with the napkin. “You can just drop me off at the nearest bus station. And some money would be nice too, if you have it.”

“Robby, we are not dropping you off anywhere.” Johnny replied.

_Asking too much? Probably. Well, this place wasn’t too bad. Pretty beautiful locale, actually. He could hang around for a while, figure out his next steps. Maybe even sleep on this bench._

“We want to talk to you about the future.” Johnny continued. “About where you want to live.”

Robby looked between them skeptically. _I’m gonna live in a box in an alleyway. What do you care?_

“You have two options here.” Mr. LaRusso picked up. “And there is no ‘right’ choice here. You can change your mind at any time. You can live with us and see your dad whenever you want or you can live with Johnny and see us whenever you want. You can take up karate again, if you want to – train with me or your dad or both if you like. And you don’t have to decide anything right now okay. Just which one you are coming back with. And there is no wrong choice here.”

“You are gonna go back to school though.” Johnny added. “That part is non-negotiable.”

_What. The. Hell? Are they gaslighting me? Making me think that I imagined all those conversations?_

“So, what do you think?” Mr. LaRusso asked.

“What do I think?” Robby said incredulously. “I think that this morning I thought that I was never going to see you again. And now you are talking about me living with one of – no, more like both of you? What’s going on here? I haven’t seen you guys for months.”

“We thought we’d give you some space to cool down. Figured you’d calm down and see some sense.” Mr. LaRusso said regretfully.

“Robby we were just trying to give you some time.” Johnny added. “We didn’t abandon you in there and we are not abandoning you now.”

_Why the hell not?_ “After everything I said? Everything I told you? You still want me to come back.”

_Don’t make me do this again, please. It was hard enough the first time. All those days of doubt, of fear, of preparing myself, steeling myself to do the right thing – don’t tell me it was all for nothing._

“You were angry. You were lashing out.” Mr. LaRusso said sympathetically. “We get that. I’ve done it a few times too – hurt people to push them away. But it’s over now. You can come back.”

“Bullshit. You are not that forgiving. You kicked me out – twice.” He turned to Johnny next. “And you never wanted me around in the first place.”

“Well, I do now.” Johnny said firmly. “And yeah, it maybe too late to give you all the things you missed out on, but there is still more I can do for you. That I _will_ do for you.”

“And I’m sorry for losing it on you. You don’t know how sorry. Really.” Mr. LaRusso added. “I promise you that will never happen again. And I want you to hold me to it.”

Robby was breathing hard, ignoring the stinging in his eyes. _Why isn’t this working? Why is this backfiring? It worked so well the last time._

“Yeah? You gonna let me around Sam again? After what I said to her?” _Yes, he’d always care more about Sam’s safety. Use that._ “Is Sam gonna be okay with it?”

“Yes she is. And I am too. Sam gets it. She knows that you didn’t mean it.” Mr. LaRusso said firmly.

_Does he not remember?_ “I called her slut.”

“You did what?” Johnny asked, shocked.

“Johnny, it’s fine.” Mr. LaRusso’s lips were pursed, but he didn’t look angry. “We’ve been through this, remember? He was lashing out, saying things he didn’t mean.”

“I – I…” _Do it. Do it again. Say the word._

_I can’t. I could barely get it out once. And they’d just say I’m lashing out again._

“Are you really gonna let me into your house again?” Robby tried a different angle. “After everything I told you? You are gonna let me con you again?”

“You are not a conman, Robby.” Mr. Larusso had an answer for everything. “Conmen don’t work as hard as you do. That’s why they con people.”

_What the hell kind of logic was that?_ “So you’ll just let me seduce Sam again?”

He seemed to find that amusing. “She told me all about your little seduction. How you didn’t start the relationship right away. How you were always respectful. How you never pushed her into anything. How you respected her wishes in everything.” He actually chuckled. “So your big con was what? Make my daughter happy? Give her a good life? Yeah, I think I can live with that.”

_No. No, that’s not –_ “I was drawing her in. Winning her over. Winning _you_ over.”

“Sure.” Mr. LaRusso shrugged. “You can do that anytime you want.”

This wasn’t working. Why wasn’t this working? He felt like he was panicking now.

“What about Miguel?” Robby said, turning to Johnny next. _No room for misinterpretation there. And I know you care about him more._ “You think he’d want anything to do with you with me hanging around?”

“It’ll be fine.” Johnny shook his head. “I heard what you did for him.”

“To him.” Robby corrected. “What I did _to_ him.”

“I mean when he came to see you. You gave him what he needed.” Johnny sighed. “I should’ve known that before. Miguel was always motivated better by anger. I didn’t want to lead him down that path again and I still don’t like the idea of him hating you – but that’s what he needed in that moment. He is doing a lot better now – walking without his crutches all the time. Once he is back to normal, I’ll tell him what you did for him. He’ll get it. He’ll get that you were actually trying to help him.”

_That’s not what I… No, I wasn’t trying to… Okay, I was, but that doesn’t change anything._ “And what if he still hates me? Or if I still hate him?”

“I know you don’t. You wouldn’t have tried to help him if you had.” Johnny said confidently. _How did he figure that out? He’s supposed to be dumb._ “And you are always going to be part of my life, Robby. Miguel would just have to accept that.”

_Now you do it? Now you choose me over Miguel? After I’ve already made my peace with it? You really are a shitty dad._

“Are you guys not listening to me?” That was the only explanation. “Are you not hearing the words here?”

“We hear you.” Johnny said. “We hear you do the same thing you always do. You are afraid people will leave you, so you push them away before they can leave. I’m sorry it took me so long to see, but I’m not letting you push me away again. And we won’t leave you again. I promise.”

_Yes, you will. You all will. Everybody leaves._ Robby swallowed a lump in his throat. _And I don’t want to hurt anyone who sticks around._

“I don’t want to live with either of you guys. Do you get that?” One by one, all the paths were closing. But he had this last card to play.

“Well, you don’t have a choice.” Johnny said. “You either make a choice here or we’ll make it for you. We’ll drag you back and tie you up and keep you that way until you see some sense.”

Robby stared at him. _Why would he try this hard? He never has before. He has never wanted me around before._

“Think I’m bluffing?” Johnny threatened. “Call my bluff. See what happens.”

“Johnny, c’mon.” Mr. LaRusso spread his hands in exasperation. “Look, Robby, you are a smart kid, alright. If you want to run away, there is nothing we can do to stop you. But just give this a chance. Just one chance. For yourself.”

Robby was breathing hard. He could feel that scratchy thing in his throat again. His eyes were getting blurry. _I want this. I’ve always wanted this. I’ve wanted this so bad and… and I can have it now._

_No – be strong. For once in your life, do the right thing. Don’t put yourself over others._ He blinked away the threatening tears and stared at them, trying to think of something else.

“I know you are angry with us, but you are just hurting yourself.” Johnny added. “Don’t do that just because you want to punish us.”

“I’m not trying to _punish_ you, I’m trying to _protect_ you.” He hadn’t meant to say that. The words were out of his mouth before he realized it. But the truth was his only option now. “I mess things up, okay. I always mess things up. I’m a mess. And I can’t keep doing that to people. I won’t… I’m trying to save you guys. From me.”

Johnny put a hand on his shoulder, surprising him. “You don’t really think like that, do you?” He sounded worried. No – scared.

“Robby, the only person who needs to be protected from you is yourself.” Mr. LaRusso sounded sad, but he had the same look on his face as Johnny. “You are not a mess, okay? You messed up, but so did the rest of us. And things are better now.”

“Yeah, better without m-me.” His voice was trembling and his vision was blurry again. He couldn’t clear it this time. “And they’ll stay better with me gone.”

“You don’t believe that.” Johnny said. “No one is better off without you.”

_Bullshit._ “Just look at you two.” Robby waved between them. “You started getting along as soon as I was out of the picture.”

Mr. LaRusso shook his head. “We don’t actually agree on much. But what we do agree on is that we both failed you. We both need to do better at being there for you.”

“You got a raw deal and you deserved better.” Johnny added. “And… we are gonna make sure you get it.”

_So **I** brought them together? No – that can’t be right. _

He looked down at his lap, arms wrapped around his own stomach. He felt a sob come out and saw a teardrop roll off his eye-lash and fall onto his leg. Breathing was getting harder, but he still got out one last plea. “Please, let it go. Just please… let me go. You’ll never have to see me again. I promise.”

An arm wrapped around his shoulder and pulled him closer to Johnny. Another hand on his head pushed it against his dad’s chest. He felt someone kiss his hair and then a warm cheek against it. Another hand was rubbing his arm, almost gripping it tightly.

_They ruined it. They ruined it all. And he’d been so close too. So close to getting away with it. So close to finally being free. Being independent. Being… alone._

“I won’t let you go.” A voice whispered. “Never again.”

He was sobbing now. Broken, heaving sobs that made his chest and throat hurt. He was crying too – tears falling freely into the shirt in front of him. He gripped it tight, trying to hold on, trying to control himself, but he couldn’t. Arms were wrapped tightly around him, holding him close like they’d never let go. Another hand was rubbing soothing circles on his back.

All that, just made him cry harder.

**The End.**


End file.
